Wednesday, October 15, 2014

A Child's Right {?}

I don't normally talk publicly about my children's behavioural struggles but todays incident got me thinking.....

We are just back from having Eli's Kindy photos taken.
They are having three individual photos and then a composite 'class' one.
Last year they had a group 'class' photo taken and Eli was determined that he didn't want to take part in that but up until last night was happy to have the individual one done.

So I dress him nicely and take him in, it's not his usual session today, and he put on the skids. He did not want his photo taken. We tried for a while to coerce him, without upsetting him, but there was no way he wanted it taken. His good mate didn't want his done either, but decided off his own back that he did after a while and there were some lovely pics taken. I thought that might encourage Eli, but no.
The photographer did sneak in one photo while he was playing but now a tantrum has ensued because he didn't want his photo taken. He hid under the table and refused to come out until I said that all was ok and that we'd go home.

He's now crying and throwing a tantrum. Trying to exert his control over everything he can think of because he lost control over having his photo taken.

Behavioural issues aside, I have a question for you all........

When is it ok for children to exert their choice over having their photo taken?

This will be different for everyone. There is lots of talk in the blogging world about blogging about your kids and their right to privacy, that's not what I'm talking about here though.
I'm talking about family and school photo type situations.
I can see this might be a hot topic but please keep comments friendly, thank you.

Take Care


  1. Bec, your comments really set me thinking.
    Have you sat with Ethan and asked him why he didn't want his photo taken? His answer might surprise you. Personally, I think a child should have the right to say 'No' if it bothers him. And he will feel respected if allowed to make that decision himself. Does it really matter if he isn't in the kindy photo this year? Heather from SA.

    1. Yeah I asked him but he couldn't tell my why. He does have trouble explaining himself though so wasn't expecting a decent answer.
      I was fine with him not being in the class photo, not that they were doing the group photo this year anyway, and yeah in the big scheme of things it doesn't really matter. But I would have liked him to have an individual one. I've had pics for all my kids right the way through and love looking back on them.
      If the one they took doesn't turn out then I'll try to take a nice one myself.

  2. I feel that if he really really doesn't want his photo taken then so be it. When my eldest daughter was around three, we were in Disneyland and we went on the ET ride. At the end you could get a photo riding the bike with the moon in the background and ET in the basket. She would not have the picture taken. I told her she could have ANYTHING she wanted in the shop if she would do the photo. No. But we got other great photos and at the end of the day it didn't really matter. It would have been lovely but it wasn't worth the hassle. xx

  3. Bec, just reading this now...what a difficult situation, I love looking back on my old school pics and there is a lot of reminiscing there...trying to balance that with his choice not to have a pic would be very difficult. Has he been able to explain why now that a few days have passed?

    1. I haven't actually. I tried the next day but he just got snooty. Still to raw I think. Will see if I have the right opportunity this week sometime. Got to get him in the right mood